I hate to critique millennials, but I’ve just got to. Everyone’s in such a ‘throw away’ mentality these days and it’s ruining people’s social lives. Every time I’m out, I see this very odd social exchange between people that ushers in a small loss of my faith in humanity.
People being creepy, rude, and generally not approachable. I think there’s a lot of learn from yesteryear’s idea of being polite and being a gentlemen. In fact, we just taught a workshop with Matthew Rodrigues of POPSUGAR on how exactly to be a gentlemen.
That said, I’ve got here a list of 8 dating traditions that you will still need to follow today.
Go on a real date, not a hang or a hook-up.
The swipe generation – that’s the action you use on Tinder to show whether or not you’re interested in a person, and it’s been adopted by other online dating sites as well – sees one major setback in using online dating apps: they rarely go out on real dates anymore. That’s because you get matches based on a quick look at someone’s profile and an average of 20 minutes’ worth of chatting before you go out. You want to make a genuine connection? Take your time talking, and ask the lady out on a real date (or if you’re the lady, wait to be asked out on a real date).
Ask at least two days in advance.
Another tradition that Tinder and other online dating apps disregard is the two-day rule of thumb – you can just swipe right, chat a little, and meet up in twenty minutes or less. Since you’ll be asking someone out on a real date, do it the traditional way: at least two days before. This gives you and your date time to prepare for that night and helps ensure your schedules are both free so you’re in no rush to leave. It also gives you time to plan your activities instead of telling your date “You decide, I’m okay with whatever.”
Dress up and look good!
You might think that because you’ve already made a good impression on your Tinder / Grindr / Hinge / OkCupid or other online dating site profile, you won’t have to exert the extra effort to look good anymore on your date. Remember: first impressions matter, especially if you’re meeting each other for the first time! I’m not telling you to go all out in a gown and a tuxedo on your first date – just ditch the t-shirt and the flip-flops and dress up a little on your first date.
Have a meaningful conversation.
Most online dating sites and apps are geared towards hooking up, but that doesn’t really have to be the case. Dating is about getting to know each other, especially if you’re in the early days or you just met face-to-face. Don’t be afraid to talk and ask questions that give you an idea of who you’re on a date with. Just remember: small talk doesn’t count!
Put your mobile down!
The biggest challenge of dating in today’s connected world is also the biggest irony of this age: people have trouble connecting with their dates because they can’t disconnect from their mobile devices. Put the mobile phones away and give your date your full attention. It won’t hurt to put off checking your messages for a few hours – and don’t even think about opening that Tinder profile while you’re on your date!
Don’t drink more than you can handle.
Nobody likes a drunk date – not before, and certainly not now. While a little liquid courage may help you relax in front of your date, it’s not advisable to drink until you drop on your first date. You should be sober enough to make sound decisions and to keep up a good conversation throughout the date; otherwise, you may not be mature enough to date just yet!
Let the man pay for the first date.
This rule, old-fashioned as it may sound to some, isn’t going anywhere: the man always has to pay for the first date. Some extremely independent women may disagree with me, but bear with me for a second. Let the men pay for your first date because it shows that they truly prepared for the date. When men pay for the first (and subsequent) dates, they’re not trying to undermine you as a woman; instead, it’s their way of showing that they are genuinely interested in forming a bond that could lead to a relationship with you. As for the men, show the women that you are a gentleman – paying for the first date shows a woman that you are interested.
Don’t sleep together on the first date.
Online dating sites and apps tend to encourage the hookup culture that today’s generation observes more often. As a result, we find it difficult to form real connections that merit a follow-up date – and more quality time together. If you really like your date and want to have a shot at a future, don’t sleep together on the first date. Be respectful of each other’s boundaries and take the time to get to know each other before deciding if your date is really worth sleeping with. It’s an old-fashioned rule, but it makes the sex more meaningful with a genuine connection in place.